finally had abit of time n mood to write this entry. been wanting to write this for the past few days.

some missed recently:

ntu blackboxbootcamp as dancer/choreo
smu steps as choreographer
some movies to catch
not gg sri lanka

some opportunities gained:

choreo-ed to radiohead last flowers and shared with ntu!
gg to india
gg to KL with batch mates
maybe the rocket?! haha..

recently.. starting to know how to manage my chances n opportunities. i think.. i am really fortunate.. its a time to count my blessings. being able to dance, to teach, to share, to just be normal and live live and have sth u love. being able to think, creatively, wildly, intellectually.. its kinda a humbling exp.. i think i am startning to decide on my own.. its a pity to not do blackbox, to not do steps. but.. perhaps.. as cliche as it sounds, another door do open. more imptly.. there are always opportunities.. there are always people ‘thinking for you’ telling u subtly or otherwise what u shld do.. they may have the best intentions but ..i guess..  we have to decide on our own.. and.. i am glad i am slowly being able to do that.. to live abit more calmly, rightly, in my own pace and priorities.

its 3 weeks since i started putting a conscious effort to eat vege once a week. not to show off or anything to anyone who mgith be reading this. just tt.. i am starting to see its importance.. and taking little steps to make the world a better place inspite of naysayers and what not. at the first vote, my batch mostly voted for plane to go KL while i was the only one voting for bus. the single reason i gave was ‘green’. some said ‘but the plane is still gg to fly if you take bus’ but there dont see tt if alot of people dont take plane then the plane will have less demand! and just because u dont see the smokes doesnt mean there is no pollution! and i shock myself by saying this to chuyan ” its not abt our generation only, its about our future generation too. i want my kids to have a normal earth to live in”.

but, having said all these.. i am still pretty much mild la. i dont impose  things on my friends or try to convince them. somehow.. i find tt can be abit damaging to the friendship.

looking back, looking forward, in terms of relationships.. i guess i took some chances and missed some boats. and perhaps i let down some people who might have taken or tried to take an opportunity with me as well.

i am truly sorry to you. i was hasty. i could have been eager. i could have been lost. but i was certainly wrong if i ever consciously tried to make an impression on u.

in fact, despite my cycles of highs n lows, i think i still do not know wad i truly want. or perhaps, some might say i have not met who i really want.

it can be tiring to think and feel so much.

on another note.. it seems like the lady’s man thing is coming back again. wy said i am a girl’s magnet tho i have no idea y or who. and wani told me she overheard some sec 1 girls saying i am cute. haha.. i am abt 12 years older than them! michelle said her friend said i have good dress sense. i replied in jest if the friend is single. honestly.. i admit i am more ‘able’ with girls.. easier to talk as well.. and probably tts y i never really have male buddies who play dota, wow or soccer or wad not tgt anw.. dance just chose my circle or friends for me i guess. and as much as it is pretty thick skin to say this.. but i have mentioned it b4.. i think i do attract the attention of some people.. haha.. which might not be good in certain circumstances.. esp if they are my students in jc.. i guess i have to manage it well when it comes.

i think i am taking on some opportunities in the time to come.. volunteer somewhere soon.. the rocket is a huge opportunity as well..

everyday is an opportunity. its a matter of wad u do with it i guess. n how u feel with ur choices. feel good abt yourself.

another video of my calming song of the moment.

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